Gas for heat or food to eat - City Beautification Program 01/29/09

Today, I felt the pain in my heart like I failed my family, we recently moved from Pennsylvania to Rochester New York by order of the Military, renting a home there. I wanted to be reassigned to a unit in Georgia but you learn in the Military to go where you’re needed so we packed up and here we are. This was supposed to be my retirement duty station, ending of a long career - at the same time, enjoying time with my family as I prepared for life outside the Military. It was also my plan to us this time to finish a book I started months ago while taking classes on how to “talking to the public” but things toke a very fast turn. First - I received a $2,000 gas bill in just three months that’s now been cut down to about 1,000. I called the Gas company about it "both times" but they insisted the bill was correct, go figure?? This really got me thinking - I’d never seen anything like this before in my life, how can a person buy food for his family if he paying such high gas bills.
After I finally got over this shocking bill, and the feeling of failure to my family, I started thinking how could I do something about this. The project and the City Beautification program in it was the answer, to remodel, remove and to rebuild homes - thereby pinpointing how to also save energy at the same time and all this came from the gas company over charging me. Instead of getting mad at the situation, it made me want to do something about it because every American today is facing something like it, high gas bills. Many Americans are going through the same thing, not being able to see any way out because we all need gas to heat our homes but when a person become a slave to the very company providing this gas, then, "things have to change“. I don’t want to sound like I’m harping on the fact that we have a new President who understands what the Americans are going through but the fact of the matter is, he dose understand, and he’s willing to face this “big problem” and others in his administration. We have to work side by side with him any way we can to make this happen and I plan to do my part. I will always feel the pain this gas bill has given me but knowing I’ve made a decision to become part of the solution, for the future, takes some of that pain away. Now, the question is "what are you going to do?"

Do You Really Know Someone

It’s been over five years from my divorce and I’m still feeling the pain. Now, remarried, moving on with my life, trying to piece together where I went wrong in my past and how to understand the madness. Its January 24, 2009 the day after my drive back from my home town - Cleveland, Ohio. I had to appear in court concerning my x-wife who, a long time ago, broke the law “sending our children to school system outside her own school zone“, which I never agree with but when my children called crying, saying their mother may go to jail - as a parent, you want to do anything to help, that is, until you find out the true character your involved with, then it becomes one of the longest nightmare a person can have. First of all - she is a wonderful mother to my children, she not a monster but not a saint either. Anyway, the drive back home gave me time to think like I always do when I‘m driving. Looking over my past, the pain and disappointments I’ve had along the way and how I was going to let it all go so I decided to write about it to finally letting it go. My “pride & Joy, John & Erica”, my children don’t call me anymore because they don’t want to hear their mother argue at them, and I stop counting how many times she’s taken their cellophanes away because I had their numbers. It has been a painful ordeal and driving out of Ohio without seeing them was just as painful. I can only hope one day, I will be able to talk to them and get to know them again as my pride and joy. With everything that has happen in the past, I can’t help but think; did I really know who I married? Or was this something I had to go through to learn who I was as a person in my lowest of times. For years I thought I was not a good person and this was why I had such bad luck but as time went on, others who know me, told me - that was crazy and I was a very giving and loving person, I just made bad decisions when it came to people close to me, sometimes. So here I am rethinking my past, my future and what I want to do, driving in the opposite direction of my heart, my pride and Joy.


A car passes me on the highway with children inside, the mothers playing with a baby in the back seat, the Dad driving with his little girl right beside him - the little girl looks over in my direction, I don’t want her to see the pain in my face so I turn away, wondering, dose he know who he married should things take a turn for the worst, most likely, he knows her as his best friend and soul mate because not everyone makes mistakes like the one I did. As a man wanting to get married to the lady of his life, most of the time we don’t think to deep into the future or look at the inner person we’re involved with, we fall down on one knee and jump, without thinking how it’s going to hurt - this was me over twenty years ago. But the lesson learned helped me because know I have a loving and giving lady on my side, she is my rock of understanding and compassion, she is very supportive when it comes to her children’s and their Dad being part of their lives. The more I think about her, the shorter the road home becomes and the happier I become inside. Do I know who I married, “YES - with out any doubts”, we talk about anything and everything, and when I’m wrong about something, she’s not going to hold her tongue - “Baby, you need to rethink your decision, love you but your wrong”. I can only whish every man meet a lady like her and maybe, just maybe, life could be a little simpler for good Dads out there apart from their children.

Double Light Tower Sculpture (Monument & Memorial Site) Project

The Double Light Tower Sculpture (Monument and Memorial Site) Project came from a nights of restless sleep. As a 22 year veteran and American citizen we need to change the way we look at this time in our history. Yes it did hurt us and yes it did talk loved ones from their families but it also shown us as a nation, as a country that we have so much to be thankful for. I created this project to honor loved ones from that day, the Military who died in Afghanistan and Iraq, the many government services that protect us in the past and today like the local and state police officers, firefighters and secrete services. I have contacted entertainers in every form of music, Rap, R&B, Country, Gospel, Soul, Rock & Roll and more. Will you join them here on coast2coast as I reach out to you. This project was created after I came home from Iraq and I could no longer watch a television because every time I heard the names of my military family called out, I would lose it with tears of pain and anger. This project as a park will be the only one in American history that honor every single scarifies made for the freedom we all enjoy today and forever more. With most of the videos on you tube.com and in time they will be post here for everyone to see - its not about me, its about respect, honor, love but mostly - its about love”. My name in John Morgan Hamilton deeply Thankful you checked this blog out and hopefully helping or becoming my friend - God bless, Oss